Never Say This To A Man Unless You Want To Lose Him
By Carol Allen
Let me tell you a sad, but all-too common, story. A client of mine had met a great new guy. He’d been treating her really well – going out of his way to help her with a big business drama with a man from her past, and even helping her with her taxes.
(Can you say SAINT?)
Things were going so well, in fact, that he’d even included her in a dinner party with his three best friends and his mother – all within seven weeks!
So, imagine my surprise when she told me they broke up just three days later.
What happened? Why did it suddenly go so wrong? Apparently, she’d become insecure. She really liked this guy. (Who wouldn’t?)
Turns out they weren’t getting any alone time together while his mother was in town, and as soon as she left, he went out with the guys instead of her. And it REALLY hurt her feelings.
So, when he called her the next day to say hello and told her about his night out with his friends, she got upset.
And she marched straight over to his house and said THE ONE THING you must NEVER say to a man unless you want him to be out of your life FOREVER…
“You see, when the woman is the leader, she’s the one fighting for the relationship. She’s the one taking the ball down the field – not the man!”
She said, “I think maybe we should break up.”
Say What You Mean
Now, my client didn’t want to break up with this guy; she was trying to get a reaction out of him.
She wanted him to look deeply into her eyes, take her in his arms, and say, “Darling, whatever do you mean? Don’t you know that I love you?!”
But she got a very different reaction.
He asked, “Why?” She went on to explain that he should’ve spent time with her instead of going out with “the guys.”
He took a beat, assessed the situation, and said, “I think you’re right. We should break up.”
And that was it. No more help with taxes. No more alone time.
Who’s In Charge?
I looked at their charts and checked out their compatibility using a fifteen-step technique from India that has been used to arrange marriages for generations. And I instantly saw there were a couple of things going on.
They had great connections, which is why things had been going so well. There was just one problem…
My client was THE LEADER in the relationship.
This is one of the most important things in this technique! I was actually taught that it’s considered a “deal breaker” – so painful for a woman that it will make her a crazy banshee over time.
Here’s why – when the woman is the leader in a relationship, she’s always ready for the next thing with a man before he is.
Over time, she starts to feel like the man simply isn’t there for her, or thinking of her, and that she’s more invested in the relationship than he is.
It makes her feel unloved. And then it makes her act out…
Follow The Leader
Now, ironically, when the woman is the leader, she must NEVER say to the man, “I think maybe we should break up.”
Why? Because what he’ll hear is:
- “I’m not happy.
- You’re not making me happy.
- What would make me happy is if we broke up.”
And, wanting to make her happy, he’ll shrug his shoulders and say, “Okay.”
You see, when the woman is the leader, she’s the one fighting for the relationship. She’s the one taking the ball down the field – not the man! He follows HER LEAD. He doesn’t direct the relationship.
So, when she gives the cue that they should break up, he can’t argue. And if he does initially, he won’t for long.
Now, I’ve seen couples be happy with this “role-reversal” situation if they have other extra special connections between them, and if they know what’s going on…
So, find out if you’re the leader with your man, and how to handle it so you don’t needlessly lose him over it. It’s all in my Right Man Report that you can be reading in mere minutes by going here: Right Man Report free trial. Not only that, you’ll learn whether your relationship is really meant to go the distance and if you two have what it takes to overcome life’s challenges.
But do yourself a favor – don’t ever let your insecurity make you say those dreaded words: “I think maybe we should break up…” unless you mean it! You may be blowing it with the right man for you.